Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
