i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
