I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just found puke in my bra..
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Randomize