Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
