I CAN MOONWALK!
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
