i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
We got so high we made milksteak
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
