Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
