hell yes lets make some ravioli
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
