i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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