this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
