Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
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