I wish I could punch you in the face.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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