There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
