So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
