So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
