It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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