Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
