yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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