So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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