We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
