Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
FUCK WHALES
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
