idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
