Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
this will be a night to untag.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
