I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
My vagina is very pro this idea
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
