Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
