if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
