How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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