shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
