i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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