I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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