I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
