you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
