it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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