Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
