i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
