I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize