I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
