We're facebook friends in real life
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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