I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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