I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
