last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize