I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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