whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
So many bounce houses so little time
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize