and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Acid is not a monday night drug
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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