I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
