The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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