And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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