if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Randomize
