do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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