We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I need water and some morals
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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