whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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