I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
