but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
we should paint friendship bongs
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
