i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
