this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Can you repeat that, but with context?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize