she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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