David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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