Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I'm sobbing to NWA
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
