You just made me feel so damn special
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
