WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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