Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Randomize
