i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
