so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize