Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Randomize
