It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
