I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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